In spite of my filthy rags

My sweet Caleb, who calls me a "pwincess" when he sees me in a dress, is also a typical little boy - one who is struggling with potty training.

Who am I kidding?  I, his mama, am struggling with potty training.  July was a dream.  Peeing and pooping in the potty was the norm and it was exciting for him.  Inside I had determined that Tim and I had successfully potty trained our eldest son - check.  

August has been a completely different story. 

What is wrong with me?  I would like a formula to produce a completely happy and 100% potty-trained child.  In my sane moments, I know that I am not alone, and I just sigh and tell myself to take it one day at a time.  In my not-so-sane moments, I am angry and frustrated.  

Cleaning up a poopy diaper is one thing, but cleaning up poopy underwear, shorts, legs, feet, is not pretty.  It's gross.  Tonight, as I was unloading the boys from the van, I felt reminded by God to be filled with grace and love.  In the past, I have made Caleb attempt to clean up his own mess - which is quite messy and lengthy.  In my determination to treat him with grace and love, I decided I would help him tonight.  

Here's the deal.  As I was washing him up and rinsing the underwear and shorts in the toilet, I was wondering if Caleb was realizing the sacrifice that I was making by taking care of his mistake for him.  I wanted him to be filled with regret for what he had done and filled with gratefulness for how I was helping him.  

God spoke to me as I was on my knees in the bathroom, "Do you always respond to me in regret and sorrow over your mistakes?  Are you always filled with gratitude for the eternal ways that I help you?"  I was reminded of the passage in Isaiah:

"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." 
- Isaiah 64:6

It is awful and gross to clean up after Caleb's accident, but this verse reminds me that even the most righteous things I do are like filthy (poopy) rags to God.  In spite of my filthy rags, God chooses to treat me with grace, upon grace, upon grace.  

I am humbled.

Lord, thank you for your love and grace towards me as I stumble through life each day.  Help me grow into maturity, to look more like Jesus, to love because I have experienced the lavish love you freely give me.  Teach me to love and extend grace to my son, to love him as he matures step by step - no matter how long it takes.  

Thank you for Caleb - he is a precious gift.